Sleep Training.
I asked all of you. I stressed about it. I wavered. I discussed with James. I decided to do it. I decided to wait. I cannot tell you how stressful the decision is. But I probably don't have to because most of you know.
So why did it finally happen? I had 12 hours with her alone that made me insane. It involved 2 hours driving up and down a street by our house to give her a decent nap + lunch of 1 bag of cinnamon bears in car during that two hours and no other food all day + no sopo to look forward to in the afternoon + james calling and saying he isn't coming home at 6, but going to an event until 9:30. I think the cinnamon bears were the proverbial straw in the camel story. But really it was the attempt to put her down three times with no success from 7-8 that really did me in. Here's how it all went down if you're interested. This is mostly for my records in case I forget in a sleepless blur.
Night 1:
I put her down 3 times and each time she woke up on crib contact. The third time I was done. I left the room to her crying, threw myself on the bed and said I am not going near her - sleep training starts now. Well, I said I would try it for 5 minutes. Then decide.
She cried for exactly 4 minutes. And then she stopped and just started talking to herself. I went downstairs and let her talk. She did this for about 15 or 20 minutes and when it got quiet I looked up and she was asleep.
Cue choir noises and heavenly light beaming down on me. Miracle! Wonderful! Oh wait...what would happen next?
She woke up about 20 minutes later, but I left her alone, she fussed a few minutes and went back to sleep.
During the night she did this at 12 and 1. Fussed for a few minutes and went to sleep. At two she cried more forcefully and we figured we would feed her once at about the 7-8 hour mark because we didn't know if it was too soon to cut out food. So I fed her and she went back to sleep.
She did the fuss and sleep thing at 4, and 5, and at 6 James went in to feed her. She went down again until about 8:30 am.
This was much more successful than I thought. But we decided we should shoot for a little more. The next night we planned to do just one feeding and to push her to wait to eat until at least 3am to make sure we hit the 8 hour mark.
Night 2:
We put her down asleep at 7:30. She slept 30 minutes and when she woke up we didn't go in. She did her fuss and talk thing for a while and went back to sleep. I kept thinking - we should have done this a long time ago! Mom said Peter cried for 2 hours at a time when she trained him. 5 minutes of fussing is a-ok. Hmmm....
11, and 12pm - fuss, back to sleep.
1:15am - Cry. I think wants food. We stick to our guns of the 3am feeding time.
She cries off and on until sometime around 3am. I think when it got quiet finally I fell asleep. If she only knew she just had to cry until 3:05 and she would have had food.
3:30am - wakes and cries, goes back to sleep.
4am - wakes and starts crying again. For real. We get up and feed her. She is a little harder to get back to sleep. Took about an hour for feeding and going back to bed.
She sleeps until 7:45 - our perfect time for her to wake up.
This was a much harder night...but we did actually push her past her comfort zone for eating. Am scared of what tomorrow may bring, but feel good about our progress and not pushing her for more than we think she is ready for.
Night 3:
We feed her and try to rock her to sleep (she gets rocked to sleep once - that is the first time we put her down. It helps us to make sure she is tired enough when she hits the sheets to sleep. If she wakes up as soon as she hits the crib, we don't pick her up again - but she gets a chance to go to bed asleep.)
James is up rocking her for 30 minutes and can't get her down. He puts her in the crib finally and she sneezes, wakes herself up and fusses. Her blanket is over her face, so I go up and re-swaddle her body (not arms), rock her til she is asleep. Put her down and of course she wakes up. I leave the room and it's 8:05. At 8:25 she finally stops talking and hitting herself and falls asleep. But she is a bit restless. 8:30 - awake again and restless. 8:32 - asleep again. WHY??? Let go Cora, just let go. (Words I often tell myself.)
36 hours later I'm finishing the record for this night...it was hard. Maybe the hardest yet. She started crying around 11pm and cried on and off until around 2am. Slept until 3:30 (or at least I did) and then I got up to feed her. She was super hungry, ate fast, and went right back to sleep and slept until 7:30am.
Night 4:
I dreaded this night. Because it seemed like the crying got progressively worse each night instead of better. Also because day 4 was horrible. Scratch that, Horrible. Definitely deserves a capital H. She was exhausted from not sleeping much the last two nights and she didn't take any long naps. Some naps she literally laid down for 5 minutes and woke up screaming in pain. She was miserable all day and so tired. I put her down every 30 minutes.
I figured the night would be more of the same. Because it seemed like she forgot how to self-soothe and put herself back to sleep. We fed her at 7, put her down by 7:30 and she was out cold. However she woke up 20 minutes later. The good news is she fussed quietly and talked and put herself back to sleep. She was really restless though and did this several times until she finally went back to sleep at 8:20 and then she stayed down.
And boy did she stay down. Not one movement until 4:30am. I know because I kept waiting and watching for the crying. Crazy, I know. But by 3 when nothing had happened, the waiting and watching for crying turned in to..."I think she is dead." Just like everyone said it would. But I mean she was out. And we had been "training her" for 3am feedings.
She fussed a couple minutes at 4:30 and went back to sleep until around 5:45. Then she fussed off and on until about 6:30 when we finally let her get up and fed her. So pretty much- she slept through the night with no feedings!
I think the experts say sleep begets more sleep, but I also think exhaustion doesn't hurt. I hope she can repeat this sleep performance tonight...minus the total exhaustion and no naps. I don't know if it will happen again, but I will bask in the miracle of one night of sleeping for almost 11 hours straight with very little fussing.
Night 5, 6, 7....whatever:
I'm stopping now. There is no rhyme or reason to what is happening. The dream of 2 nights of really bad and then the third night of magically sleeping through the night is clearly not happening here. The only pattern is that she does usually start waking up around 1-1:30, fusses and goes back to sleep. Repeat at sometime in the 2 hour and then in the 3-4 hour we get up and feed her and she seems to be able to sleep until 7 or 8.
She wakes up still tired though - probably because she still isn't sleeping through the night and wakes up regularly. She still has trouble napping and actually the last couple of days her long morning naps have stopped and gone back to 30 minute naps.
I have never known her - before or during sleep training- to be well rested during the day. Whether we feed her or don't at night. She can't stay up longer than an hour w/o getting fussy and tired for a nap and she screams when she is getting put down for naps until she collapses.
The positive? I do think she is learning to put herself back to sleep better. At night when I put her down now we just leave her and after her 30 minute wake up she eventually goes back to sleep for the night. This is our one true success. I think. Speaking it tends to change it, so let's just say - this past week it was our one true success.
I guess we'll keep doing what we are doing at night (one feeding around 3) and re-visit full sleep training around 6 months. I won't say I have high hopes. Why is she so tired all the time???
Hope you enjoyed reading this long and boring log as much as I enjoyed living it. I'm sure someone out there found it while scouring for sleep answers for their own baby. Keep looking sister.
I asked all of you. I stressed about it. I wavered. I discussed with James. I decided to do it. I decided to wait. I cannot tell you how stressful the decision is. But I probably don't have to because most of you know.
So why did it finally happen? I had 12 hours with her alone that made me insane. It involved 2 hours driving up and down a street by our house to give her a decent nap + lunch of 1 bag of cinnamon bears in car during that two hours and no other food all day + no sopo to look forward to in the afternoon + james calling and saying he isn't coming home at 6, but going to an event until 9:30. I think the cinnamon bears were the proverbial straw in the camel story. But really it was the attempt to put her down three times with no success from 7-8 that really did me in. Here's how it all went down if you're interested. This is mostly for my records in case I forget in a sleepless blur.
Night 1:
I put her down 3 times and each time she woke up on crib contact. The third time I was done. I left the room to her crying, threw myself on the bed and said I am not going near her - sleep training starts now. Well, I said I would try it for 5 minutes. Then decide.
She cried for exactly 4 minutes. And then she stopped and just started talking to herself. I went downstairs and let her talk. She did this for about 15 or 20 minutes and when it got quiet I looked up and she was asleep.
Cue choir noises and heavenly light beaming down on me. Miracle! Wonderful! Oh wait...what would happen next?
She woke up about 20 minutes later, but I left her alone, she fussed a few minutes and went back to sleep.
During the night she did this at 12 and 1. Fussed for a few minutes and went to sleep. At two she cried more forcefully and we figured we would feed her once at about the 7-8 hour mark because we didn't know if it was too soon to cut out food. So I fed her and she went back to sleep.
She did the fuss and sleep thing at 4, and 5, and at 6 James went in to feed her. She went down again until about 8:30 am.
This was much more successful than I thought. But we decided we should shoot for a little more. The next night we planned to do just one feeding and to push her to wait to eat until at least 3am to make sure we hit the 8 hour mark.
Night 2:
We put her down asleep at 7:30. She slept 30 minutes and when she woke up we didn't go in. She did her fuss and talk thing for a while and went back to sleep. I kept thinking - we should have done this a long time ago! Mom said Peter cried for 2 hours at a time when she trained him. 5 minutes of fussing is a-ok. Hmmm....
11, and 12pm - fuss, back to sleep.
1:15am - Cry. I think wants food. We stick to our guns of the 3am feeding time.
She cries off and on until sometime around 3am. I think when it got quiet finally I fell asleep. If she only knew she just had to cry until 3:05 and she would have had food.
3:30am - wakes and cries, goes back to sleep.
4am - wakes and starts crying again. For real. We get up and feed her. She is a little harder to get back to sleep. Took about an hour for feeding and going back to bed.
She sleeps until 7:45 - our perfect time for her to wake up.
This was a much harder night...but we did actually push her past her comfort zone for eating. Am scared of what tomorrow may bring, but feel good about our progress and not pushing her for more than we think she is ready for.
Night 3:
We feed her and try to rock her to sleep (she gets rocked to sleep once - that is the first time we put her down. It helps us to make sure she is tired enough when she hits the sheets to sleep. If she wakes up as soon as she hits the crib, we don't pick her up again - but she gets a chance to go to bed asleep.)
James is up rocking her for 30 minutes and can't get her down. He puts her in the crib finally and she sneezes, wakes herself up and fusses. Her blanket is over her face, so I go up and re-swaddle her body (not arms), rock her til she is asleep. Put her down and of course she wakes up. I leave the room and it's 8:05. At 8:25 she finally stops talking and hitting herself and falls asleep. But she is a bit restless. 8:30 - awake again and restless. 8:32 - asleep again. WHY??? Let go Cora, just let go. (Words I often tell myself.)
36 hours later I'm finishing the record for this night...it was hard. Maybe the hardest yet. She started crying around 11pm and cried on and off until around 2am. Slept until 3:30 (or at least I did) and then I got up to feed her. She was super hungry, ate fast, and went right back to sleep and slept until 7:30am.
Night 4:
I dreaded this night. Because it seemed like the crying got progressively worse each night instead of better. Also because day 4 was horrible. Scratch that, Horrible. Definitely deserves a capital H. She was exhausted from not sleeping much the last two nights and she didn't take any long naps. Some naps she literally laid down for 5 minutes and woke up screaming in pain. She was miserable all day and so tired. I put her down every 30 minutes.
I figured the night would be more of the same. Because it seemed like she forgot how to self-soothe and put herself back to sleep. We fed her at 7, put her down by 7:30 and she was out cold. However she woke up 20 minutes later. The good news is she fussed quietly and talked and put herself back to sleep. She was really restless though and did this several times until she finally went back to sleep at 8:20 and then she stayed down.
And boy did she stay down. Not one movement until 4:30am. I know because I kept waiting and watching for the crying. Crazy, I know. But by 3 when nothing had happened, the waiting and watching for crying turned in to..."I think she is dead." Just like everyone said it would. But I mean she was out. And we had been "training her" for 3am feedings.
She fussed a couple minutes at 4:30 and went back to sleep until around 5:45. Then she fussed off and on until about 6:30 when we finally let her get up and fed her. So pretty much- she slept through the night with no feedings!
I think the experts say sleep begets more sleep, but I also think exhaustion doesn't hurt. I hope she can repeat this sleep performance tonight...minus the total exhaustion and no naps. I don't know if it will happen again, but I will bask in the miracle of one night of sleeping for almost 11 hours straight with very little fussing.
Night 5, 6, 7....whatever:
I'm stopping now. There is no rhyme or reason to what is happening. The dream of 2 nights of really bad and then the third night of magically sleeping through the night is clearly not happening here. The only pattern is that she does usually start waking up around 1-1:30, fusses and goes back to sleep. Repeat at sometime in the 2 hour and then in the 3-4 hour we get up and feed her and she seems to be able to sleep until 7 or 8.
She wakes up still tired though - probably because she still isn't sleeping through the night and wakes up regularly. She still has trouble napping and actually the last couple of days her long morning naps have stopped and gone back to 30 minute naps.
I have never known her - before or during sleep training- to be well rested during the day. Whether we feed her or don't at night. She can't stay up longer than an hour w/o getting fussy and tired for a nap and she screams when she is getting put down for naps until she collapses.
The positive? I do think she is learning to put herself back to sleep better. At night when I put her down now we just leave her and after her 30 minute wake up she eventually goes back to sleep for the night. This is our one true success. I think. Speaking it tends to change it, so let's just say - this past week it was our one true success.
I guess we'll keep doing what we are doing at night (one feeding around 3) and re-visit full sleep training around 6 months. I won't say I have high hopes. Why is she so tired all the time???
Hope you enjoyed reading this long and boring log as much as I enjoyed living it. I'm sure someone out there found it while scouring for sleep answers for their own baby. Keep looking sister.
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